I believe that people generally come from a place of positive intention. If there is a disconnect, it often happens in their impact and the stories that get made up about their intentions. The impact of this? Resistance, mistrust, broken relationships, unintended influence, and at a minimum, lost opportunities for creativity, collaboration, and doing their best work.
Assuming “bad” creates a negative and constrictive energy – no good. Assuming good creates expansive, safe and creative energy – very good. An easy and obvious choice, yet intention and choice are easier said than action and consistency. Why?
Three common reasons: 1) lack of awareness – they don’t even realize they’re doing it, 2) habit – defaults can be tricky to shake, 3) busy-ness – for whatever reason, it seems easier and quicker to go to the dark side. (This of course is a lie – assuming good takes a lot less energy and has greater returns.)
Of course if there was a #4 reason, it might be that there are some who get a lot of mileage out of assuming bad (yes, they do exist), but in my experience, that’s not the majority. (And I’m assuming that the people reading this want to assume good and lead well.)
It’s easy to default to “defense mode” and to assume “bad” or to just not be aware of intention at all. Assuming good, or even being aware of someone’s true intention, takes awareness and curiosity to do this – and this is where we’ll often fail to “get it right.” When you move fast, when you have 4,368 things to do (by 6 tonight), and when you have so many competing priorities; awareness, curiosity, and “assuming good” are easily put on the back burner. The solution to this? Awareness, intention, commitment, and active engagement with assuming good: 70% of it is awareness, the other 30% is what you do with it.
So how do you do it?