Today has been a mix of emotions. Driving in for the early a.m. practice, I listened to some of the tributes of 9/11. Although that day is 10 years past, I can still remember the feeling, the horror, and complete sadness of it. One particular visceral image that will stay in my heart, I imagine forever, is the sight of my son, on his 1st birthday, “navigating” through all the balloons for his birthday party – getting tangled up in them, tripping and giggling with delight, and in the background, the TV broadcasting the burning towers while my mother and I watched the events unfold wondering where my husband was (he was boarding a plane at the time.)
A complete mix of emotions for me; pure joy and delight and gratitude on one hand, mixed with heartbreak, fear, and horror…and…confusion on the other. How was this happening even possible? I know this is nothing compared to what others went through on this day, nothing. But it is that mix of emotions I can tap into instantaneously that brings me back to the surreal-ness of 9/11. It is that mix of emotions that brings up tears of gratitude, sadness, and heartache all over again. It’s also this mix of emotions which had me pretty raw for class today and gifted me 3 predominant awarenesses…